Friday, May 25, 2012

The Aftermath


Last night, Spudet attacked Axle. I wrote about it in here:

She especially tore his legs up. He fought back, I won't lie. Her face was hurt, and the swelling was terrible. I took her to the shelter this morning, and, for the first time in my life, filled out an owner surrender. It's funny, the raging bull she was last night, and here she was her sweet old self again.

There was no keeping Spudet. She had every opportunity to back down, particularly when Axle got in his crate. She chose to pursue him.

When I got home today, I didn't know what to expect. Axle had taken a pain pill last night, but I couldn't convince him to take the antibiotic. Fortunately, the doctoring we had done was working and the pain pill had taken the edge off the swelling. With him being cleaner and all of the bleeding mostly stopped, I was able to see where he was still bleeding - a ripped foot pad. It looks as though Spuds chomped down and proceeded to pull at his foot. I think it's going to need stitches - we'll find out from the vet tomorrow.

I went to work after I had surrendered Spudet. I really couldn't concentrate on much, so I didn't stay as long as I had planned. One of my sweet coworkers bought me breakfast - I was starved and it was so good! It made me terribly sick, though, as I was still upset and uptight. I went to the shelter afterward - the dogs almost always make me feel better.

The shelter staff, especially the head lady (as I call her) Ms. Melissa and the Exec. Director Edward were incredibly understanding and sympathetic. While I have a tendency to mope and wonder where I went wrong with this situation, Ed made a good point - dogs don't feel sorry for themselves. Granted, that was part of a different conversation, but it's incredibly true. Edward even bought me lunch. I didn't have much of an appetite, so I got some broccoli, which does not taste the same coming up as it does going down, by the way. I just have a hard time stomach-ing food when I'm upset. I have never understood the post-break-up-or-tragic-event ice cream binge. Or any food binge, for that matter.

We discussed a lot about Spuds, Axle, rescue, shelter dogs, and so on. Even cursed PETA came up! I think discussing matters bigger than my own troubles helped put things into focus and even start the healing process, pardon the cliche. Ms. Melissa (who practically terrified me my first week as a volunteer) even made the statement that people like me are an important part of the shelter - we're kind of liaisons to the "outside world." I felt special. :)

After I got home, I started the cleaning process. It's going to take me awhile, because the strong stench of blood makes me sick. Hello reason number 231 why I could never be a veterinarian! As I was scrubbing a CSI-like blood splatter from the door to Axle's room, I wondered what Axle sees when he sees the aftermath. What does he feel? Does he feel sad? Does he wonder where Spuds is? I wonder if he really was thinking about it all...

As each blood splatter disappeared beneath my cleaning cloth, I couldn't help but think that I wasn't washing away just any blood. I was washing away a friendship, a bond. I was washing away the kisses that Axle and Spuds had shared, the lazy Sunday naps on the couch. I was washing away life, love, and trust. I wondered if Axle could ever trust another dog again.

As I sit here typing this, Axle is sprawled out on the living room floor, his golden eyes focused on the two kitties playing around his head. Occasionally, one will get brave and rub their little head against his torn and bloody cheeks. He lets out a loud sigh, startling the fur-balls into action. Give it a few minutes - they'll be back!

Such trusting little kitties, I truly hope nothing ever happens to steal their innocence. Let them forever believe the big dog is just a teddy bear to be hugged and groomed, not a potential predator/enemy. I'll have to take pictures one day of them - but for now, I'm frozen. If I move, they move, and the cute is gone!

As soon as they move, I have to get back to cleaning. Beige floors and walls won't magically clean themselves!

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